The socializing HOWTO for geeks…
1. Introduction
2. Buying Rounds
2.1 Always Buy your round
2.2 Even if you don’t like everyone.
3. Make Small Talk
3.1 The Weather
3.2 Not latest Kernel Versions (unless you’re all geeks)
3.3 Sports are good
3.4 Geeky sports like Karate, Judo, Fencing are ok, but don’t go overboard
3.5 Chess is right out
4. More drinking
4.1 Drink less than Alcoholics
4.2 Seriously, don’t try and keep up
4.3 Don’t get sick on the Boss
4.4 Get Happy, not stupid.
4.5 If you buy rounds when everyone else is drunk, you’re not obliged to drink alcohol.
(otherwise known as ‘chuffing heck, he didn’t even look drunk after 15 pints of lager!’
4.6 Do Not Call the Boss a Wanker even after 15 pints of Lager.
4.7 Be able to Discretely Go Home early if required. (Wives are good for this)
5. When you get home
5.1 Drink Plenty of Water, eat something
6. Next Day
6.1 Don’t be Hungover
6.2 Don’t Show the Photos of the Boss and the inflatable Sheep.
6.3 Reserve them for Staff Appraisals
6.4 Eat fried egg and bacon sandwiches in front of the worst offenders from last night.
7. Summary
7.1 Don’t get too Drunk
7.2 If you must get drunk, don’t be obnoxious
7.3 Rember people who are obnoxious drunks
7.4 If they piss you off, portray them as alcoholics to the management.
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